Such a perfect description of how I felt this week as well.. filled with hope, joy and gratitude at the students and colleagues I work with, along with admiration at the human ability to be, well, human in the messy and the hard. The concept of both/and certainly comes into play in my role with student life. There is a need to have rules, structures that allow us to keep students safe and doing what they need to do at school. And there is also a need to understand where a student is coming from, why they made a decision or acted the way they did. And even in discussing consequences, both/and comes into play. There is both a consequence for this, and an understanding of where you are coming from and the work we need to do together moving forward.
One other comment about the work Venet shared about the boys and the misogynistic comments. This sentence on page 105, “If I focus only on the systemic thinking that the misogyny of teenage boys is preordained in a misogynistic society, I deny the agency of my students to change”. So many times in my career I have heard “boys will be boys” as an excuse for unkind or even aggressive behavior. And I always think, so they don’t have to change? Or even think about change? Or see options to behave differently? And the same could be said for the behaviors of girls that we accept as “typical teenage girl mean behavior”. To me, this sentence hit the nail right on the head.
The extended anecdote and reflection on student language that creates a toxic environment and how we respond to it with generosity very much landed with me, too—different language, but same quandary that we're trying to navigate in our building.
I think so often we turn to resources/readings for "answers," but it filled my cup to be able sit in a parallel struggle for a few pages, to push my own thinking and consider that the "how" of arriving at a solution matters just as much (if not more) than the solution itself.
I'm so honored and humbled to read your reflection of how this chapter resonated, especially this week. The question mark is a scary and generative place to be.
with each chapter in this journey I feel even more humbled to be able to spend so much time reflecting on this incredible book — thank you for the gift it is, especially in this moment!
-I am currently overwhelmed with navigating my own personal beliefs with those of some of my students…I’m finding this very challenging and I worry what this looks like in upcoming months/years
-super excited to try out BlueSky! I deleted my Twitter account last year and have missed the teacher community I formed there
-I think what makes teaching complicated is that nearly everything is both/and - usually when there’s a disagreement between teachers and parents there’s a both/and - and same when there’s a conflict that arises between teachers and students. Holding two truths simultaneously is both what I find invigorating as a teacher and exhausting…
The "exhausting" aspect is very real and very felt (also: welcome to BlueSky!)
Thank you for being open about how overwhelming this is to navigate, especially when you hear students say/do hurtful things. That is only going to be emboldened going forward, and that will take a toll, without question.
Spot on observation! Humanity is the ultimate both/and, and since teaching and learning is complex and involves a gathering of humans, it makes sense that it requires both/and thinking.
I, too, feel very overwhelmed with all of the things (both inside and outside of the classroom). Reading and discussing this book with Marcus (and y'all) is helping me stay grounded.
One of my biggest questions is how to cultivate a deep appreciation and love for the classroom's messiness among my students. All of these paradoxes exist most meaningfully in classrooms because schools are the last democratic institution we have. It's therefore of paramount importance that we help our students–and ourselves–develop a sustainable commitment to those paradoxes and that messiness. Classrooms are probably the only place now where people can't divide themselves along party lines, or where algorithms don't hold sway over thought. I hope my students and colleagues see that reality as a kind of grace and opportunity rather than something that is immediately deserving of their skepticism.
What a fantastic point: cultivating a love for that messiness has to be something that takes place with our students, too. Loved this push!
For me, it starts with being really transparent and asking for feedback on the how/why of our classroom much more often—but it has to go way deeper and beyond the classroom walls, too.
I want to thank you for now — hope to respond more fully tomorrow to this wonderful post to which I kept thinking yes! And then yes! again. And I’m so happy both you and Adrian have traveled with me to blue sky—you were two I would have missed terribly and I hesitated to leave because y’all were there. I also commit to writing a piece on Teaching Teens this week — I’ve been thinking about particular students I’ve had in light of the threat of future dark policies.
As a teacher, the more I lean into a both/and mindset, the less stressed I feel when trying to juggle the complex system of public education. I can't do it all, but I can do what I can each and every day. I strive to be that balance for my students where I support them in the classroom and fight for them outside of the classroom.
I feel like I've been sitting in Vent Diagrams these past five years. Teaching is both more challenging and more rewarding. I've struggled to motivate my students and experienced moments of joy and connection. This chapter gave me vocabulary that I can use when experiencing complex and contradictory feelings.
This is it 🎯 not only the framework to better name/navigate these complexities but also the importance to not immediately “fill in the middle” of the Vent diagram—that blank space can serve a purpose, both of humility and imagination, and I fully intend to do this way more often
Such a perfect description of how I felt this week as well.. filled with hope, joy and gratitude at the students and colleagues I work with, along with admiration at the human ability to be, well, human in the messy and the hard. The concept of both/and certainly comes into play in my role with student life. There is a need to have rules, structures that allow us to keep students safe and doing what they need to do at school. And there is also a need to understand where a student is coming from, why they made a decision or acted the way they did. And even in discussing consequences, both/and comes into play. There is both a consequence for this, and an understanding of where you are coming from and the work we need to do together moving forward.
One other comment about the work Venet shared about the boys and the misogynistic comments. This sentence on page 105, “If I focus only on the systemic thinking that the misogyny of teenage boys is preordained in a misogynistic society, I deny the agency of my students to change”. So many times in my career I have heard “boys will be boys” as an excuse for unkind or even aggressive behavior. And I always think, so they don’t have to change? Or even think about change? Or see options to behave differently? And the same could be said for the behaviors of girls that we accept as “typical teenage girl mean behavior”. To me, this sentence hit the nail right on the head.
The extended anecdote and reflection on student language that creates a toxic environment and how we respond to it with generosity very much landed with me, too—different language, but same quandary that we're trying to navigate in our building.
I think so often we turn to resources/readings for "answers," but it filled my cup to be able sit in a parallel struggle for a few pages, to push my own thinking and consider that the "how" of arriving at a solution matters just as much (if not more) than the solution itself.
I'm so honored and humbled to read your reflection of how this chapter resonated, especially this week. The question mark is a scary and generative place to be.
with each chapter in this journey I feel even more humbled to be able to spend so much time reflecting on this incredible book — thank you for the gift it is, especially in this moment!
-I am currently overwhelmed with navigating my own personal beliefs with those of some of my students…I’m finding this very challenging and I worry what this looks like in upcoming months/years
-super excited to try out BlueSky! I deleted my Twitter account last year and have missed the teacher community I formed there
-I think what makes teaching complicated is that nearly everything is both/and - usually when there’s a disagreement between teachers and parents there’s a both/and - and same when there’s a conflict that arises between teachers and students. Holding two truths simultaneously is both what I find invigorating as a teacher and exhausting…
The "exhausting" aspect is very real and very felt (also: welcome to BlueSky!)
Thank you for being open about how overwhelming this is to navigate, especially when you hear students say/do hurtful things. That is only going to be emboldened going forward, and that will take a toll, without question.
Spot on observation! Humanity is the ultimate both/and, and since teaching and learning is complex and involves a gathering of humans, it makes sense that it requires both/and thinking.
I, too, feel very overwhelmed with all of the things (both inside and outside of the classroom). Reading and discussing this book with Marcus (and y'all) is helping me stay grounded.
One of my biggest questions is how to cultivate a deep appreciation and love for the classroom's messiness among my students. All of these paradoxes exist most meaningfully in classrooms because schools are the last democratic institution we have. It's therefore of paramount importance that we help our students–and ourselves–develop a sustainable commitment to those paradoxes and that messiness. Classrooms are probably the only place now where people can't divide themselves along party lines, or where algorithms don't hold sway over thought. I hope my students and colleagues see that reality as a kind of grace and opportunity rather than something that is immediately deserving of their skepticism.
What a fantastic point: cultivating a love for that messiness has to be something that takes place with our students, too. Loved this push!
For me, it starts with being really transparent and asking for feedback on the how/why of our classroom much more often—but it has to go way deeper and beyond the classroom walls, too.
I want to thank you for now — hope to respond more fully tomorrow to this wonderful post to which I kept thinking yes! And then yes! again. And I’m so happy both you and Adrian have traveled with me to blue sky—you were two I would have missed terribly and I hesitated to leave because y’all were there. I also commit to writing a piece on Teaching Teens this week — I’ve been thinking about particular students I’ve had in light of the threat of future dark policies.
More later.
As a teacher, the more I lean into a both/and mindset, the less stressed I feel when trying to juggle the complex system of public education. I can't do it all, but I can do what I can each and every day. I strive to be that balance for my students where I support them in the classroom and fight for them outside of the classroom.
I feel like I've been sitting in Vent Diagrams these past five years. Teaching is both more challenging and more rewarding. I've struggled to motivate my students and experienced moments of joy and connection. This chapter gave me vocabulary that I can use when experiencing complex and contradictory feelings.
This is it 🎯 not only the framework to better name/navigate these complexities but also the importance to not immediately “fill in the middle” of the Vent diagram—that blank space can serve a purpose, both of humility and imagination, and I fully intend to do this way more often