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dmartin's avatar

Such a perfect description of how I felt this week as well.. filled with hope, joy and gratitude at the students and colleagues I work with, along with admiration at the human ability to be, well, human in the messy and the hard. The concept of both/and certainly comes into play in my role with student life. There is a need to have rules, structures that allow us to keep students safe and doing what they need to do at school. And there is also a need to understand where a student is coming from, why they made a decision or acted the way they did. And even in discussing consequences, both/and comes into play. There is both a consequence for this, and an understanding of where you are coming from and the work we need to do together moving forward.

One other comment about the work Venet shared about the boys and the misogynistic comments. This sentence on page 105, “If I focus only on the systemic thinking that the misogyny of teenage boys is preordained in a misogynistic society, I deny the agency of my students to change”. So many times in my career I have heard “boys will be boys” as an excuse for unkind or even aggressive behavior. And I always think, so they don’t have to change? Or even think about change? Or see options to behave differently? And the same could be said for the behaviors of girls that we accept as “typical teenage girl mean behavior”. To me, this sentence hit the nail right on the head.

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Alex Shevrin Venet's avatar

I'm so honored and humbled to read your reflection of how this chapter resonated, especially this week. The question mark is a scary and generative place to be.

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